Unwanted Attention
by Donatellolover
Summary: Bella wants Edward. BAD. But, does Edward want Bella? Bella seems to think he does, so she takes matters into her own hands. Literally. CRACK-FIC.


Disclaimer: I own nothing here. And the idea is so crazy that I hesitate to call it as my own. But oh well.

This is done just for fun. Pure, insane fun. It's my first, and last, Twific and I must admit writing it was an uplift in my day. I don't particularly care for Twilight, as you might notice, so that's why I enjoyed it so.

Beta'd by XxAutumnDawnxX, my Bestie, whose very good at writing crack-fics! =J

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Edward was a puss.

A damn shame, too, because he was indeed the hottest boy at school. None of the other bland boring males came close to his sexiness. The one who stood the slightest chance of rivaling Edward's lewd body was Bella herself. Though she'd thought of it many times since moving to Forks, fucking (tehe) herself was only satisfying for a while. But where was I.. ah yes.. Edward was a puss, yes that's right.

**FLASHBACK...**

Bella, the hormone-driven teenager that she was, needed satisfaction, and on that first day when she saw Edward her breath caught in her throat. And not because he was staring at her, either. It was right then that she realized he was the one that could end all her suffering. Sure, Bella acted like the sweet little virgin, but she was quite the opposite. Kind of a sex-addict, if you wanted to put a name to her obsession.

Biology came, and as she sat next to Edward, she wanted to as well. What a fine body he had! It drove her insane to sit next to the bone-able body! It was just so unfair! Bella bit her lip as she caught him staring at her intensely. She tried to hide the widening of her eyes as a thought occurred to her. He was flirting!

Slowly, Bella partially opened her mouth and allowed her tongue to peek out. She licked her lips suggestively, bluntly sharing her desire to-*cough*- get to know him better. His eyes widened in response to the vulgar display, a frown appearing on his sensual lips. He began scooting his lab chair a bit farther away from Bella, and didn't look at her for the rest of the class period.

Bella pouted at this and angrily began scribbling in her notebook. In her anger, she didn't realize that she was drawing a picture of Edward stabbing her. Repeatedly. I wouldn't say it was with a knife, though... The bell for class to end rang(What the hell? Doesn't their teacher do anything?), interrupting her inner musings, and she picked up her things before leaving the room. Since the embarrassing incident in Biology, Bella was considering the fact that she might not get to jump Edward's bones, or have him jump hers with that beastly thing in his pants. She sighed as she made her way to her rusty locker, only to have a hand touch her shoulder. Jumping around in shock she cursed loudly and dropped her books, almost smiling when she saw that it was Edward who touched her. Oh how she wished he would touch her in better, more sensitive places.

"I-I'm terribly sorry." He shuddered, noticing the lustful gaze she was shooting him. Before she could reply, he had picked up her things and was handing them back. "Listen, about earlier... I'm sorry if I seemed rude. It just seemed like you were flirting with me." Edward blushed, looking away from her face and at the dirty floor.

Bella took every detail of him as she could while he was talking, not paying attention in the slightest at what he was actually saying. When he blushed, she smirked. Her confidence arose once again, if not stronger, and she vowed herself that she would have the boy who stood awkwardly in front of her. Batting her eyes innocently, and trying to act embarrassed she asked if they could go somewhere more private to talk.

When they reached an uninhabited part of the building, she threw herself upon his slammin' body and feverishly kissed at his lips and neck. For a few seconds, he just stood there with his mouth in an 'o' shape and did nothing. At first Bella was a little hurt from his lack of interaction, but just took it that he was shocked that such a goddess like her would like him. She smirked before breathing out heavily, trying not to moan. He was just so damn arousing! She'd never been this horny before! Not even that one time when she'd caught sight of herself naked in the mirror...

Her heartbeat sped up as he brought his hands up to her and chest, touching her 'Weapons of Mass Seduction' and pushing her... away? Bella's eyes widened in complete shock as Edward roughly pushed her away from him, disgust clear on his face. Fixing his shirt and making sure he looked as perfect as he was (haha), Edward simply walked away without a word, leaving a very flustered and severely horny Bella behind unsatisfied. Again.

**END OF FLASHBACK...**

Bella laughed as the memory of their first encounter faded from her conscious mind. Edward wasn't a man; he was a fucking puss. No self-respected man would push away the sex-fiend that was Isabella Swan. It was just unheard of! Still, Edward was just too fucking hot to let go without a steamy, erotic fight.

After that one time, though, Edward had avoided her like she'd had the Black Death. Bella, of course, noticed and with a furious expression on her face, she cornered him in a deserted hallway one day. She laughed as she saw he had a piece of toilet paper attached to his shoe. He just knew what attracted her the most didn't he? The way the toilet paper clung to his foot was just so hot! As if he knew what was about to transpire, Edward frowned and tried to politely get away from the frightening girl as fast as inhumanly possible. Bella was having none of that however, for as he passed by her, she flung her hand out and grabbed a very sensitive part of Edward's anatomy. Because she was mad, and horny, she seductively squeezed the contents that she held in her hand. Edwards face contorted in fear, I mean it was his manhood at stake here, and he let out an undignified yelp. Leaning in close as possible to Edward, Bella whispered in his ear lustfully. "No one says no to me, little girl." After that, she let go of him, and abruptly walked away, humming a happy tune as she did.

Edward was still shaking in fear and shock when the lunch bell rang, causing him to flinch. "Fuck. Maybe I AM in Hell."

Bella was still laughing as she made her way to the lunch table and sat amongst her unknowing friends. Though they thought she was smiling for some other reason, Bella continued to smile the entire day.

Heh, Edward was such a puss.


End file.
